"Street Cred"

A long time ago when Sid, the tail-less cat, came to live with Mr and Mrs Noah, she was just a tweeny weeny kitten. She was so small that Mrs Noah had to hand-rear her for the first month on powdered kitty milk! As she grew bigger and stronger, Mrs Noah agreed that Sid could finally venture into the outside world, but only if she wore a collar.

Now, both Mr Noah and Sid were not impressed with this idea at all, as it would make her look too much like a “pampered pet” and not the street-wise “roughy toughy” feline that both Mr Noah and Sid thought she ought to be. It would be hard-going enough, they thought, not having a tail, never mind having to wear a collar as well!

But Mrs Noah insisted, stating that there were so many stray and feral cats about that other people might mistake Sid for one of them and she might get taken away by the “nasty cat man” in his van, never to be seen again! So Sid was made to wear a collar, a beautiful bright blue, velvet collar. Well, she wore it for a day and then came back home that evening proudly collarless!

“Oh no!” said Mrs Noah. “Sid, you are a naughty cat! Do you know how much those collars cost?” Of course neither Mr Noah, nor Sid, had any idea how much they cost! “Off you go immediately, Mr Noah. Go into the bush and find it!” This was the first of many collars that Mr Noah had to try and find. He spent hours, no days, nay, even weeks of his life, crawling around the fynbos next to the snakes, the tortoises and the nesting Franklins, searching for Sid's various collars! Not one did he find! Even when Mango, with her amazing sense of smell, searched with Mr Noah, they still could not find any collars. She had worn blue collars, yellow collars, red collars, even multi coloured collars but she would, eventually, leave them all in the bush!

Finally, after yet another lost collar, Mr and Mrs Noah sat Sid down and gave her a long, hard talking to over the “wearing your collar” business. They explained the cost implications (you might not get so much cat food because collars are expensive); they explained the safety reasons behind wearing a collar (you don’t want to end up in cat van with the “nasty cat man”), and they explained the state of Mr Noah’s poor knees and blood pressure (!!!!!!).

Sid listened intently and at the end of the lecture said, “Look, it’s not really a collar I object to. It’s the fact that they have a bell on them, they are too colourful and they make me look like a “pampered pet”, and all the other cats out there in the bush take the *%!*%! out of me!

“Tough!” said Mrs Noah. “You’re wearing it. Now, just get over it!”

So it came to be, that the next day Mr and Mrs Noah were sitting on the back stoep enjoying a well deserved glass of wine in the late afternoon sunshine, when along strolled Sid - wearing her collar!

As she strolled past, she was heard to purr loudly, “It’s how you wear it that gives you “street cred”, and when you’re a tail-less cat having “the edge” is more important than anything!”